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One In and One Out Has to Be Enough Today
One In and One Out Has to Be Enough Today
By Jane Tawel
December 18, 2019
There are days a person doesn’t feel like working. Or writing. There are days a person doesn’t even feel like being awake, or alive. There are not enough bullet points in the world, some days, to help me re-group, make plans, feel different, breathe deeply, or even care. If asked on some mornings to make a bucket list, there are some mornings I think I would just say, I am ready to kick the bucket, down the hall, out the door, and into outer space. And I’m not ready because I want to die, or I am at peace, although sometimes, I am ready to die without peace — it is just that depressing and bleak-feeling. I’m ready to kick the bucket lists, and dreams, and meaning out, because it all seems so meaningless and hopeless and pointless, and “Me-less”. Who am I in this whole mess that is Life? What difference does it possibly make that I just took another breath?
Someone said to me at a party yesterday, “Oh, I have never been a follower of any organized religion. That is why I became a Buddhist.” And of course, being the awkward, insecure, usually moronic-sounding-in-social-situations-person-I-am, I just politely smiled and nodded and did what all people at parties they don’t belong at do — I left my half-filled plastic container…
